Melbourne: Dandenong to Thornbury

I repacked my car yesterday as I realised my friend was leaving her housesit before I return from Canberra. I will go to my family for a few weeks and return to Melbourne. I laugh at how tight my car is packed with things, but I go with the flow and do what I must.

I called a few friends to see if I can store my camping gear and then I can make room for my other clown gear which I will take to Canberra and store. Then head back down to Melbourne pick up my stuff and head to Perth. So a couple of friends offered me spaces. One works at a church and has found a lock up room for me.

I also caught up with a friend to go to Meditation. We met at the university and went to her place. She gave me lots of books and CDs, really great stuff to read. We had a talk about her marriage, she has been married for 25 years and she felt married too young. They are at a point where they hardly talk and there is much resentment between them. I felt strongly to help her to see that you can’t change people into what you want and it is not a role model for their two kids in respect to resolving issues. We went to the mediation which was very uplifting and connecting to the inner world. It was full of laughter and fun, as soon as they knew I was a clown, jokes kept coming. I loved it. It was a small group, but really warm people.

Anyway, my friend and I ended up talking in the car for a while. I tried to show her that the unhappiness just becomes a darkness in her. You can’t blame anyone for unhappiness, that is not to say that parents and partners don’t impact on your life, they do. At the end of the day we are free and it is a question of facing one’s own fears. Often people feel trapped yet we never know what will happen when we take a step. I believe that intent is very important, if you do things out of positivity, in the best interests of the family, I do feel things will just unfold as they should. Often there is great fear around the unknown, the fear of no money, the fear of where to live, stepping out of what is familiar, yet if for many years it is not working and counselling is not an option, then a decision has to be made. I did meet her husband earlier and sought to connect with him and the children. I then gave them all a hug, this is the beauty of being a clown, people know clowns are typically loving and can open up very easily. She felt he hadn’t hugged me properly I said he did. I said everyone is doing their best. I feel for men in many respects as I feel they are not given good role models on how to express their feelings and how to deal with relationships. It is not mistake there are many divorces these days as the emotional space of men is very blocked. I feel this is sad for them and they find it hard to communicate. It must be very isolating. My sense was that both felt trapped and unable to move out of old patterns, many patterns set up by parents who don’t talk, or are resentful which became their role models. I can see how hard it is to break, but that is the challenge of life is to find the love for yourself and others, to change the patterns nonviolently, and find constructive ways to engage the issue or to leave a toxic situation. So it was very positive and she nearly cried. I felt happy we had been able to be frank. She also does Reiki which is a healing energy work. She said she would like to heal me. I do have a sore shoulder, so she put her hands on it, wow I felt the heat and definitely I felt a pulse of energy go through my shoulder. It was amazing. She has a gift. The shoulder feels good. I looked at her and said ‘you are a healer’. The saying ‘healer heal thyself’ came into my mind. I conveyed that. I think many people do incredibly well in their lives especially where many have come from. Life is not easy for many people, but they are so strong and you can see the love. I find people constantly impressive and far more amazing then they realise, I think people forget how far they have come. I do see clearly that love is not wishy washy, it is a challenge to love when you are angry or have unresolved issues, but to find the way through with understanding and dropping negative thoughts which only create barriers for you, is the key. When you forgive, let go and love, you allow life to be what it is. My friend shares two wonderful children with this husband and he does let her do what she wants. These are freedoms and joys that he has given. They may not communicate but perhaps that is the way it is. If one doesn’t change, certainly the other can. As you change the world changes. It really does, I’ve seen it happen so many times. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

After our chat and a hug I headed to my other friend’s place to stay the night. She has offered to put all my camping gear in the church in a safe spot. It was late when I got in, the door was open and I just went to bed. My friend was up at 5am and I got up as well and we just had a wonderful chat. She is a real live wire and into biodynamic agriculture. This is a method of planting by the moon, sun and using astrology. They also create organic compost rich in nutrients which is rebuilding of the soil and very productive. This technique is being used in India with great success. The Green Revolution over there depleted the soils and some became crusty and non productive. When biodynamic methods were introduced farmers were amazed at the fertility. It is natural and there are no chemical fertilisers, it is more labour intensive, but much more self reliant. We will see greater shifts towards this type of cultivation which is in harmony with natural cycles. My friend has a box of soil and I said to her it is worth more than gold. She agreed. She will spend time out bush next year developing her skills in this area. She is very expansive and progressive in her thinking and her spirituality is very open. It is interesting that she works at a church, yet she has no religion. She felt more connection with the Mayans and spent time in South America. She makes feather earrings which are sensational. At the church they love her as she is a model of virtue and love. She is extremely kind and giving. I love that she is in a church and they are so progressive. She said ‘Challice’ the church has lots of community activities and they don’t believe in converting people, just respecting diversity and building community. Pretty switched on.

So we spent some great time together and I will come back and spend time when I return and make my way to Perth.

I have a full schedule here of visiting and catching up. So am looking forward to reuniting with my friends.

It feels like family and I never have nowhere to stay. So will just really enjoy my time here and enjoy life. I find myself so happy I feel like bursting, but this is becoming normal. So many times I feel so happy I can’t sleep. Life is just exciting and wonderful. It is not polyannerish, it is real joy that permeates my life and I love it.

Have a great day and find the beauty in it, always it is there when you look to see.

Much love,

A peace clown